Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of Unleash Your Leadership. I hope you're doing well. Today, I want to talk about a difficult subject: failure. I know that today's economy feels like it's all downhill and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We are seeing more layoffs coming as well, and I know it's hard for many of you who are either directly impacted or secondarily impacted. Maybe a loved one or a friend is going through it or even if you're not going through it directly, you are still attached to it somehow, especially if you're working in tech.

Today, I want to talk to you about how you can turn around this difficult situation because there's one thing you can do, and that's all. It's just one thing that will help you not only see the light at the end of the tunnel but also get to it. There's a favorite quote of mine from Condaleeza Rice, and it says, "If you have ever been stopped cold in your tracks by one career hurdle or another, you know how much it feels like failure. The truth is sometimes hurdles are our best friends because they force us to stop and face the fact that it's time to change something, and changing something is how we find what's next." This is a really powerful quote and something that has inspired me as well.

Because there have been multiple times that even I have been stopped cold in my tracks, and it doesn't always necessarily have to be as drastic as a layoff. There are many things that just make you stop. Something unexpected happens, and it's easy to beat ourselves up on it. It's easy to continue to get into this downward spiral. I don't know why this is happening to me. Why am I the one who's at the end of this? Life is unfair and so on. At some point, you go through those five stages of grief, and you're denying this, and then you end up blaming somebody else. Yes, we all do that. And it sometimes is a natural process dealing with something that seems like a failure, and the keyword being seems because it is important for you to understand that what may seem like a failure in the moment can be so incredibly powerful in the future. You might have heard that a lot of big companies or successful startups actually started during the time of the last recession, and we are going to see the same story from this recession into the next 3, 4, 5 years. I'm actually looking forward to three years from today when a bunch of companies that started in the recession of 2022, 2023. I'm calling it a recession. I know not everybody's calling it that yet. I'm sure it feels a little bit like that with the inflation being high and the jobs getting cut and all of that. Let's just say this is the downturn, and we are going to see a lot of companies, successful ones come out of it.

This is about you. How can you turn your difficult situation into success? How can you make it so that this situation serves you, and it heeds your commands as opposed to you being dictated by what this situation is? So the one thing I want you to do, and I call it the ten-five-two formula. Simple. You can remember it. 10:5:2. I want you to take a piece of paper if you want to do this right now with me, or I will have a template up on my website, or you can always email me to get this template. I'll share this template with you as well, and you can use it. I want you to first start. You can list it down. What is the challenge you're currently working with.
What is my failure situation? Everybody has a different terminology for failure, whatever difficult situation you are working with that you feel is really hard for you, I want you to note that down. Two, three lines. Not a whole lot, we are not writing a story, or an episode here.

Then I want you to ask yourself this question. How will this situation, this failure, this layoff, this job cut, my stocks sinking, whatever it is, how can this situation serve me? And essentially I want you to write down 10 things, 10 positive things that will happen because of this difficult situation.

I want you to be really, really truthful to yourself. I want you to put 10 things no less because I know it is hard. We, I, if I were to ask you write down 10 bad things, you would probably be able to list it down in under a. I want you to think about the 10 good things that will come out of this bad situation.

And we are calling it bad situation for what it is right now. Maybe five years from now, you're not gonna look at it as one. So 10 things make an effort. You might get stuck, persevere through this. I want you to have the full list of 10.

Once you have that list, look at it. If you have more, hey, that's awesome. I do not want you to stop if you are at eight or seven. Once you have the list of 10 positive things, read them out aloud, read them to yourself. What are the then good things that are going to come out of this? And again, don't try to limit yourself by the facts around you.

Don't try to limit yourself from this inner voice that says, oh, but I don't know how to do this. How is, how can I, how can this good thing happen? I need a prerequisite. Don't worry about it. If you're not qualified to do something, it doesn't matter. As long as you can think of it as a good thing that can happen to you, it doesn't matter if you're qualified to do it or not.

It doesn't matter if you have all the skill sets or not. It doesn't matter what people around you say. It doesn't matter what the circumstances around you are. You can dream, that's fine. Think big, take the moonshots.

Put those 10 things. Once you have those 10 things, I want you to identify five things or five actions that you can take in the next three to six months. You can define your timeline, maybe it's three to six months. Whatever works for you. I want you to note down five actions, five things now that you can do. To make those 10 things come alive, cuz those are now 10 things on paper and we want to make it real. So what are the five things you can do? You may not address all 10 things. Maybe you list them out by priority. That's okay.

Again, we are not getting into two minutes semantics about priorities and technical program management here, just focus on five things you can do in the next three to six. Concrete actions you can take to make those 10 things a reality. You can pick five of those things. You can pick three of those things and have multiple action items for each. That's okay, five very specific things you can do. You with me so far?

Once you have noted those down again, I encourage you not to get stuck at three or four. Get to five. If you have more, that's great. You can make them tactical, you can make them a little more strategic. Keep in mind your timeline is three to six months. So there gotta be some things you can achieve in that time period, or get started and will be on the.

If they feel a bit far off, then break them down. Break them down into two action items. Yeah. And if one is a year out, then don't list that. I want you to focus on the next three to six months, because while the 10 things were big things, these five things are things that are going to act as your stepping stones, as your markers, your guides, to get to those big.

Once you note down these five things, now we get to two. What's two? I want you to now take on two of those five actions.

You can break them down further if you want, two of those things that now you're going to focus on in the next one. Maybe two.

Two images. So essentially now I'm getting you to prioritize two things, but here's the thing. I don't want you to just pick two priorities of those. Any randoms. I want you to pick two things that you will then tell your accountability partner. Here's the condition. I want you to have an accountability partner. It can be a friend, a family member, a colleague, somebody who will hold you accountable, somebody who has your best interest and who's willing to challenge you, but at the same time encourage you. And I want you to tell them, here are the two things I have decided that I want to achieve in the next one to two months, given everything's that happening to me right now.

And I want you to share that. Share the whole document with them. I think that's fine too, I want you to at least tell them, here are my two. Two goals of these five actions that I want you to know and I want you to hold me accountable. This is really important cuz when you tell other people of your intent, of your goals, you are more likely to follow through.

I don't want you to just fill this document out. Keep it somewhere on your desktop or laptop and forget about it. No, I want you to put it out in the world. If you want more than one accountability pattern, that's fine too. If those two actions actually are slightly different and there are two different people better suited for it, that's fine, I want you to go pick at least one person to tell it to. That's your 10-5-2 simple.

In terms of how to remember it, not necessarily in terms of how you might do it, basically what I am asking you to do is focus on the positives, because it is really, really important that in challenging times, in difficult times, in these times that feel like failures, that you get out of this tendency of getting into a spiral. Either it can be turn into a lot of different ways. I don't wanna go into all of that. Everybody has different ways of coping with disappointment, with failure, I want you to move on to positive things. I want you to give rise to this inner champion of yours that tells you, Hey, you got this and you can do this. This is just one blip in the moment. There's a full lifetime.

And when you follow this ten five two, understand the determination that's coming out of you at any time you feel like you're falling back into this thinking of doubt of self-doubt or hurdles, obstacles. Or if you're just feeling like I cannot do this, go read that list of 10. Then go read the list of five below it, and then the two go. Talk to your accountability partner. This will help you continue to bring you back to those positive things to trigger your mind to think positive. And if you really action upon it with sincerity, I guarantee you that this situation will turn around, failures or whatever this difficult, challenging time is, will lead to success. Whatever you define that to be. It'll would also in some ways lead to more happiness because of course, when we are down, when we are out, we don't feel great. When we are thinking positively, we feel great., almost like giving yourself a dopamine hit.

So please, please do this, if you're dealing with challenges, I encourage you to seek out the light at the end of the tunnel, and this is my small way of helping you get there a little bit faster. And if you feel like you don't have a great accountability partner in a family member, colleague, future past president, or someone that you know, a friend, then seek out somebody professional. You can always look for mentors or you can hire a coach. There are many ways to find good accountability partners. Most of them come from people you know, you can always go out and reach out to the professionals.

So I wish you all the very best in whatever circumstances you are in and whatever you are dreaming of, and I'm sending you lots of positive energy, lots of positive vibes. I hope that this is just a few more weeks or days of these things happening, but whatever will come out of it will make you stronger. You know, you have heard this saying, what doesn't kill you makes you. I totally believe in it, and you are going to come out stronger and more successful at the end of this.

Thank you and take care.